How To Open a Can of Worms with a Lace Bra.

Question: how many bad boys does it take to turn a misguided, perhaps naive, yet well intended woman into a can opener? Huh? Yes, that was my question. I want to know what it takes to get a perfectly good woman to act in a completely irrational way? Love. Love is what it takes.

I am no stranger to irrational behavior so I am going to share with you how not to behave in a relationship where you love someone and they don’t understand what you are on about. This information comes disguised in other instruction, the two step, step-by-step guide on how to open a can of worms with a lace bra. Whatever you do, don’t follow these instructions. Just be aware that it is possible to open a can of worms with a lace and bra and stay far away from both lace bras and cans of worms.

Can of Worms

Any one person that promises the world but fails to return a call, make an impromptu, unsolicited visit to you, take you out on a date or call before 8pm on a weekday is a can of worms. Insisting on unveiling who they really are is a bad, bad idea. Don’t keep saying, “Maybe with time…” . Maybe with time nothing! Step out of the crimson light, take a cold shower and gulp down a jar of reality. That man, that woman is what we call a classic can of certified worms.

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To immerse yourself in total and utter regret and perhaps even cause yourself to unnecessarily gain a few pounds on pity-party ice cream and junk food, go ahead and use sex to lure an uninterested man into being interested in you. The fastest way to more agony is to try open a can of worms with a perfectly good padded lace bra. The sexier the bra, the bigger the heartbreak too. So take care to remember to call yourself an ambulance, the next time you attempt to trap unrequited love into reciprocity.

Conclusion

Love yourself a little more than the thrill. Chemistry is fantastic but nothing beats love that chooses to stay, to talk, to come back the next day. That love is worth the wait.

Not Quite Dead Yet.

Life is ironic. It offers as many opportunities to rise and reinvent yourself as it takes away. The phrase, “on top of the world one day and down on your luck the next” is not an exaggeration but rather a reality many people face everyday. So I know for sure that I am preaching to the converted here: you know what I am talking about!

So let’s talk about something else here: let’s talk about the getting up after a stumble and fall. Few of us like this part much; we know we have to do it but don’t like it much. For one, to get up from a fall one has to trust that the same legs that led to a tumble are not going to fail one again and that they will instead offer steady support and allow a move forward. How unfair.

Here’s another viewpoint: you just may stay on your feet this time around but who ever will trust you to be competent on your feet again? Everyone saw you fall. They saw you lose balance, tumble and land on your back. Eyebrows were raised and heads turned away from the embarrassment. You were found out, made for the imperfect, sometimes off-balance fool you sometimes are. Too late to play dead now.

I fell pretty hard lately, figuratively of course. Everyone around me bore witness to my tumble and to when I landed flat on my flat behind. Dust filled the air and for a while my mouth as I choked for air and tightened my eyes closed. But after a while I could tell the audience had grown bored with spectating my demise. And so after much thought and consideration I have decided to open my eyes and deal with the consequences of failing again. I am not quite dead yet. Gonna be just fine.First Lady Promotes Youth Exercise With Olympians images semenya